Outside and in Read online

  “Not without some... alterations,” Bekah said. “It’s a purely psychic weapon, at this point. How many problems do you have that could be solved by conjuring an actual sword anyway, though?”

  “A fair point.” I nodded toward the boy, who was still happily turning pages. “Is he okay?”

  “He doesn’t remember anything. When you pulled the parasite out, you pulled the memories of it out, too, I think.” She hugged me, and I stiffened up, unused to contact from anyone, let along near strangers. She quickly pulled back, wincing. “I’m sorry, I should have asked first, Clara is always telling me, bodily autonomy, not everyone likes getting hugged, I just go full mom sometimes, I really apologize.”

  “It’s... okay. Asking is better, yeah. But I’m not mad. We just saved a kid. High spirits and all that.”

  She seemed genuinely relieved. “Thank you so much, Nallah. You made a real difference here. I’m so glad I found you. I have to go help Huddy’s parents, and make sure I leave things here in a good state before I go back home. You did great work. Really great.”

  “Sure.” So that was it. She’d lured me in with a journal and stories, and used me to get a job done. It was what I’d expected, but it still stung. “I know you need to get back to your family. Dinner’s waiting. I’ll see you around. Enjoy your jambalaya.”

  “Nallah? Nallah, you can—”

  I stepped past Hudson and through his closet door and into my room, closing it firmly behind me.

  At least my dad’s journal was there. I’d never had any family, not really, not for keeps, but at least now I had something my father had touched, and a picture of my mother. I curled up in bed, with the journal clutched to my chest. It’s what I had to hold close. Not so much. Even that poor kid with the parasite had parents who loved him enough to try an exorcism. If a parasite had gotten me, I would have just been left to rot from the inside.

  I know. What a pity party. But I’d had an emotionally draining day.

  I was half-dozing and tearful when someone knocked on my door. Nobody knocked on my door. My door didn’t connect to the outside world at all unless I opened it onto a real place. There was nothing on the other side but solid rock.

  I opened the door without choosing a destination, which usually just opened it to some random place from my past, but this time, it led to Bekah’s front porch.

  No one was out there, but I found a glass container with a plastic lid on the floor, and when I knelt and opened it up, I smelled bell pepper and sausage and chicken and shrimp and brown rice. Trey’s jambalaya. There was a note on top, just a white piece of paper folded beside it, with Nallah scrawled on the front.

  I opened it, and read: “We’re having ice cream for dessert if you want to join us. No pressure. You know where to find us if you ever want company.”

  I looked at that note for a long time.

  Then I let the door to my heart open. Just a crack. But it let a little light in all the same.

  —For Arthur and Hudson

  November 2020

 

 

  Tim Pratt, Outside and in

 

 

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